Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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