Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
