no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
