But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
