I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Panties = found
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