so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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