Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
