Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Randomize
