I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
