you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
