I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
