You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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