Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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