He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize