YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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