I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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