Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you had me at cake vodka
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
