Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
