How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
