his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
