We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
