doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
