Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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