I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
