I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
