Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
