He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
