your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
