Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
