Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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