Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
