Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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