Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize