It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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