I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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