theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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