i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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