Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
