My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
