I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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