Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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