I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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