I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
