She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
