that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
