forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
