No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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