How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
