i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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