I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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