and you said cock pushups were impossible
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
