idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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