Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize