No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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