Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
