She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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