Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
