Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
