Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
