i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We have started to decorate penises.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
