I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
