were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
