and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
