Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
