We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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