i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
