I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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